Allow Yourself To Stumble

When it comes to setting expectations I am one of the worst. I don’t know why I do this, but any time I set out to do anything, whether it has been done before or not, I get it in my head that there is an ultimate desired and expected outcome that I should achieve, otherwise the effort is considered a failure. Whether I am making something new or drawing a picture, or writing a blog I am riddled with insecurity as I do any of them because I know what catches my attention and if I do not make it exactly like I saw it then it will not get the right attention. Therein lies the rub. Why am I doing these things in the first place? Am I doing it because I want to do it and I will do it the best way I can or am I doing it for attention?

I have found that I am doing it for both reasons, and as long as the proper perspective is maintained then both can be acceptable reasons. First of all, there is nothing wrong with needing attention from time to time. The need for validation is a basic human need and we all, no matter how far along our journey to self-actualization we are, will need validation from our peers. As a leather worker I am self-taught. Aside from several YouTube videos I basically learned by starting with kits and developing my own patterns and designs through observation and trial-and-error. The R&D process is scary. I see things all over the place that I want to make, but in my head the thing better look exactly like the picture in front of me or I fail.

Eventually I come to the point where I must decide to push forward in spite of the fact that what I’m making will probably only slightly resemble the initial inspiration or abandon the cause to avoid embarrassment altogether. Ultimately I would rather see the thing done and know that I did my best and made it my own. The overwhelming response I get from my family, friends, and supporters is all the validation I need to know that my effort and willingness to try is a far greater accomplishment than cloning someone else’ work. What results is my best effort infused with my own style, which is a direct result of me stumbling through the process.

Any time you find yourself facing a similar conundrum just remind yourself that you have no need to compare your effort to that of anyone else, including yourself. You approach each situation in life with the understanding that, even IF you have done something similar before, this is a whole new equation with a whole new set of variables and all you can do is the best you can do. Nothing matters more than the fact that you made the attempt and when the project is done, step back and admire the fruits of your effort. That is all the validation you really need.